Persuasive
5..4..3..2..1 BLAST OFF!! …..Hello, we are going to give you a tour of the solar system. We are going to look at different planets and how it’s formed. Hope you like the tour, and I am going to show you about space, planets, and smaller things in space. There are 9 planets in the solar system (Nibiru). The planets are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.
This Tour will tell you all about the solar system. The solar system is an endless thing to learn about. It is known to be the most funnest subject to learn about to our team. It’s a good idea to come. There are many reasons why its a good idea. It can also be a good source to use in the future. Now I will tell you why its a good idea.
Our first reason why it’s a good idea to go into space with us is because you will learn a lot about the different planets that rotate around a huge star named the sun. Its is a good idea to learn about the planets because you can do a science project really fast because you came on our tour. Learning about the solar system will also help you in life if you become a scientist or if your curious about how the solar system works. It will help you in life because you can be a scientist that studies the solar system and you will be prepared. Scientist are really smart too so if you become one on the solar system you can already know about how the solar system woks, or maybe you can just come on our our and learn about the different things on how we survive living in space.
Our tour can make you feel like an astronaut because you will be feeling zero gravity. It will be nice if you come because the feeling is great, and you will learn more than others who might be studying the solar system. Also you have the choice to choose if you want to be an astronaut because you will have the feeling of the job, being an astronaut will also help your kid(s) in school if they need help on a project. You will also find out how zero gravity really feels. The last reason is that you will be able to tell anyone how the solar system was made you might be able to tell scientist to help them out..
This is important to learn about how the solar system was made because you might become a scientist if you ever wanted. If you become a scientist then you can tell your kid(s) how the solar system was formed. That means that all of your kid(s) will get an A+ . That means your kid(s) will be successful in in life.
I wish you are able to come to our tour. We give out tours to our visitors out to space. We bring then to space so they can learn. I would like you to come because you will learn all about the planet, feel like an astronaut, and how the solar system was formed. I hope that later on this week you can join us to our next trip to space.
This paper has some promise to it. Let’s see. . . The first paragraph has a great opening and nice voice and it is informative. However, it does not open as a persuasive paper. You need to follow the guidelines you have for persuasive: the models, the packet, and the Persuasive Assistant handout.
The second paragraph is also good; it is well-written and very informative. However, it is not a persuasive paragraph. The 3rd paragraph gets into the persuasive format, but the reasons are rather weak.
Let’s go over this tomorrow after I meet with Jairo’s group. We have something to work with; we just need to improve it.
Dmac-
Thank you Mr.Clareken for the comment I will ask my parents also to see if they can get persuaded. If they say its fine I will definately dissagree. I hope you have more comments for us.